The Monkey Did It

I headed off to Kohl's to buy one thing- a tie for Drew for his work party tonight. The old Christmas tie, we discovered at 11pm last night, had been attacked by one of the children and was no longer presentable for the mixed company of "the firm". So I was willing to run out with the two little ones while Mady was at preschool to buy another one.

Everything ran smoothly while my favorite 2 year old, Cooper, was strapped safely in his car seat. This was going to be a quick trip so I lugged the baby carrier in one arm and had one hand free to steer Cooper in the store. We arrived at the ties and I picked out a very nice looking one only to discover Cooper had tip-toed off. He just started this, looking back over his shoulder to see if I notice. So I leave the car seat to go find Cooper and luckily just a short way down the aisle he was being detained by a very nice man who, when I walked up calling his name, said "there's your mommy." I lug him back to the tie area and Lillie, all the while lecturing him about staying right by me.

I set him down to pick up the carrier and then I look at the brand of tie and I don't see a specific area for them and I start thinking "what if this tie isn't on sale like all the rest of these ties?" I turn to another rack, find another one and poof, Cooper has disappeared again. This time I see him running straight down the aisle. I watch him and when he turns around I motion him to come back. He looks at me, looks the other way, looks at me, looks the other way, looks at me and takes off. I head after him only to discover when I get to the end he is no where in sight. I go the direction he went and spot him and he spots me and takes off. I put down the carrier and RUN after him. Yes, you heard me and everyone in the store saw me. I grab him and don't let go. I pick up Lillie and we head to check out. I get in the short line where the lady in front of me is almost done checking out. Has anyone else been sucked in by the short line? I swear I have the worst luck in checkout lines. So she says "do you have any of those Curious George dolls? I called and was going to put one on hold but they guaranteed me that you had alot. And now I can't find any." Cashier calling Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum and the Seven Dwarfs on their individual cell phones to find a stinking doll all the while I am struggling with a writhing two year old boy. Can't this lady step aside while I pay for one stinking tie? NO. "I can call up to another Kohl's to see if they have any." Are You KIDDING? For a stuffed animal? Maybe I am out of the loop on this whole Curious George thing.

So the cashier tells me I can go over to the other cashier; she only has one lady in her line. Not thinking, I set Cooper down to pick up Lillie and the tie to head over to the next cashier. Cooper slowly starts scooting towards the door. I keep an eye on him but figure he has learned his lesson. Finally I pay for the tie and go to get Cooper where I had last seen him. He is GONE! No where in sight. I look up and down aisle after aisle while lugging the car seat. Luckily a lady that I know from growing up is there and sees me searching for my runaway and offers to keep Lillie. I start frantically searching for him all the while calling his name. I am holding back tears while trying to remain calm, all the while berating myself for not having gotten a cart in the first place. But this was supposed to be an in and out trip! And then I hear announced over the loud speaker "Code Yellow" and I figure this nice lady who I haven't even seen in over 10 years and is holding my baby has informed the store that I lost my child. And I think "I am a horrible mother and now everyone knows." I decide I should probably check the toys even though we had never been in that section and low and behold there he is sitting on the floor playing with a train. I say " You are in so much trouble mister!" and he just looks at me with his big, blue eyes and says "I poopie mommy."

As I walk up with Cooper in my arms to get my baby, past all of the smiling cashiers who are now cancelling the code yellow, I think this is all Curious George's fault!